Monday, October 31, 2005

Merry Samhain. The Day of the Dead. Honor your Gods, your Ancestors, those that have passed before us. For those interested in a coven ceremony, click here.

     And so the Goddess stood in darkness,
Tear stained cheeks lashed by rain,
Turned to face the veil of darkness,
Turned to face the world of pain.
Alone, an outcast, branded traitor;
She it was who killed the land.

To save the land from age and darkness,
To save the land from fear and death,
For love of life she sought to conquer,
Sought to stay the hand of death.

But in her love and in her madness
She summoned death into the land;
Summoned death to fight the darkness,
Thus it was destroyed the land.

Cracked silver lightning; shattering darkness,
Revealing eyes, and visions born beyond.
Iced visions of light,
Echoes of dying laughter chill and cool the blood.
Storm clouds tearing sky and screaming,
Battles fought at heaven's gate,
Fly upon the winds of madness,
Seek the silver key of fate.

what is the price of a lie?

only TEN days ago, it was 2000 Americans dead.
now its 2,026 AMERICANS KILLED IN IRAQ.


how many more before its too many?
3000? 4000?

what is the price of a LiE?
WHAT DOES IT COST TO ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

righteous.

"The last thing this President wants is the first thing he needs: someone to slap his spoiled, pampered, trust-funded, plutocratic, never-worked-a-day-in-his-life cheek and make him face the reality of his foul-ups."
-- Paul Begala

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

i remember.

"& I remember the 1st time I felt It alive inside me me. Turning with a dead weight. Opening & sliding those black feathers inches at a time. Its feet pushing & digging into my insides whenever one of its limbs went numb. I remember nights listening to it hum, feeling it move in mysteries, cleaning its wings for hours. I remember all this & know ...I never had a chance."

Monday, October 24, 2005


click below to:

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Suicide Girls

contrary to popular rumors :: NO :: i am not a model on SuicideGirls ... in fact, i was invited to join by some of those on the SG site ... i am not a participant ... more of a voyeur ... doing some "research" [yeah, research] for a possible fotographee book i was putting together ... i've had to put it on hold a bit now as we are soul-deep in the new album ... but who knows, if the muse recites ... i will respond.

btw, the new album is shaping up incredibly .. one of the stand outs for me is a new song called CROOKED SPOONS ... its one of the those moments that most artists who live in the abstract can understand ... its the song i have been waiting to write, but never really knew it ... until now ... meaning, its always sorta been there ... hiding in the umbra ... waiting for me to find it ... to give it the proper birth ... no more protein & guesses, the cocoon was not opened too soon ... it was ready to emerge ... and i am most proud of it ... its a twisted tale that is explosive & mind-bending ... i can't wait to play it in a live setting ...

we might be doing a show with American Headcharge in late November when they storm thru our beloved Lost Angeles ... if i have my way, those attending will get a taste of our new wicked mediSIN ... we will be rehearsing next week and the rest of the month for some secret, sponteneous shows that will be rising here and there ...


"crooked spoons on every wall ... genocide, lines the hall"

Saturday, October 22, 2005

lunatics escape the asylum . . .

eViL j & i spent a bit of time last night at the infamous RAINBOW bar on Sunset Blvd with our brother-in-arms, the guitar guru, Karma Cheema from American Headcharge ... was nice to see him and laugh like lunatics again ...

Friday, October 21, 2005

for his lies . . .

yesterday:

1,988 U.S. Military Fatalities in Iraq


today:

1,993 U.S. Military Fatalities in Iraq

the conspirators . . .



Thursday, October 20, 2005

i choose to fight.

a strong work ethic turns me on ... its what keeps my machinery working ... all pistons firing ... and its so very rare to find passionate people in this world ... most that i know just seem to want to get by with the least amount of resistance ... a leaf on the current ... but not me ... i want to be the salmon swimming against the flow ... searching desperately for my way back home.

its very difficult to live this way ... always in philosophical pursuit ... always believing an evolution will come ... if u just keep at it ... if u just keep digging ... the more u will find.

not many can follow this ideology ... they are more comfortable feeding their heads with teevee & grain alcohol ... with "settling" for whatever life gives them ... with surrendering whenever things got too tough.

i choose to stay.
i choose to fight.

this morning .. .

we've been sacrificing our minds, our souls, & flesh for this album ... we've barricaded ourselves in a house in the hollywood hills & dedicated ourselves to writing this next opus ... i sleep on the floor everynight ... it keeps me focused ... i wake up every morning with a cup of coffee, some itunes radio [classical: magnatune], & read the news ... today i find a growing storm against the bush[league] administration for their role in outing a CIA operative just to force their case for the war in Iraq ... i only hope people take time to write or contact their local & national news sources, leaders & representatives asking for truth, fairness, & justice ... & that the same standards be applied to "them" as it would be to the rest of "us" ...

now its back to the labor of love ... creating these songs ... last night i recorded vocals on 2 very emotional & powerful songs ... March of the Martyrs & Milk of Regret ... they are beginning to take shape out of the haze ... taking ownership of their identities ... & growing into unstoppable sonic beasts.

Friday, October 14, 2005

HUNTER

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
-- Hunter S. Thompson

Thursday, October 13, 2005

[sic] & tIREd

the greatest thing you ever did, was let me live . . .
digging thru the crust & out of hell
u let me .......... .. . save myself.

Monday, October 10, 2005

MYSPACE

okay, so i have come to the conclusion that i hate friendster as much, if not more, than myspace ... so in keeping with a fair and balanced distribution of my hate ... i have decided, albeit relunctantly, to open a myspace account ... *ugh* ... i really feel like i am going to regret this ...

"Doom is the operative ethic"
-- Hunter S. Thompson

add me, ignore me, contact me ... whatever.
the address is
http://www.myspace.com/estavidaloca

Sunday, October 09, 2005

stars open among the lilies

"Stars open among the lilies.
Are you not blinded by such expressionless sirens?
This is the silence of astounded souls."
-- Sylvia Plath

e-hell

i've had some e-mail issues as of late ... the server kept crashing & i haven't recv'd one message in 2 weeks ... its finally being remedied so if anyone sent me anything plz resend it later today ... i will do my best to read & reply if necessary ...

thx ...

on another note ... after many requests, i have begun to pay a bit more, perhaps a smidge more, attention to my Friendster account ... i HATE myspace for private reasons - but we do have an account there administered by eViL j ...



also, yes - i did open a profile on Suicide Girls ... strictly for research .. yes, RESEARCH .. for a possible poetry/art/fotographee book i am organizing ... yes a new poetry book .. with my art & fotographee ... i have many still life shots that i am really proud of but the SG site has inspired me to consider doing a foto shoot using models for some abstract ideas i have ... i know there have been posers using my name on the site before but smile_n_pretend is me
...

Friday, October 07, 2005

i feel like . . .

i love this song. i remember recording it. where i was emotionally. that is the hallmark of great art, IMO. something that can grab u and transport u to a place of connection. from the opening notes of the song, i am back there, in that place, hoping the song will end so i can again be whole.

its beautiful.

Theocracy Now.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- A second medical expert has resigned to protest the Food and Drug Administration's failure to allow over-the-counter sales of a "morning-after" contraceptive made by Barr Pharmaceuticals Inc.

Dr. Frank Davidoff, an internal medicine specialist, said Thursday he stepped down from his position as a consultant to the FDA's Nonprescription Drugs Advisory Committee about a month ago. Members of that panel and another committee of outside experts voted 23-4 in December 2003 to recommend non-prescription sales of the contraceptive, called Plan B.

The FDA so far has rejected that advice, as well as support from the agency's scientific staff. Then-FDA Commissioner Lester Crawford announced August 26 he was postponing a decision indefinitely and taking public comment for 60 days.

That delay "crossed the line for me," Davidoff said in an interview.

In his resignation letter, Davidoff said he wrote:
"I can no longer associate myself with an organization that is capable of making such an important decision so flagrantly on the basis of political influence, rather than the scientific and clinical evidence."

Sunday, October 02, 2005

giggety-google'd

my performance on HBO's Def Poetry is now on google's video section ... i am so very proud of this ... and would like to thank all of our supporters for sending such strong messages of encouragement ... i am because u are.

click below to view ... thx.